Tag Archives: fatherhood

A Lesson on Selfishness: The Ultimate Virus

stomach-virus-creature

Every Sunday evening, my wife and I sit down to go over the upcoming week. You know, the kind of discussion where we figure out who has evening meetings, who’s picking up the kid, and when we’re having dinner. We’re basically trying to coordinate the week in a vain attempt to provide some structure and order to our lives.

Kelly was preparing for a business trip to Florida (yes, an actual beach resort) for a conference and would be gone from Wednesday through Saturday night. I knew this trip had been on the calendar for quite some time, and while I was admittedly a bit jealous, I felt mentally prepared.

What I hadn’t realized was that my own schedule was jam-packed. I had work obligations every single day that week—seven days straight. That’s when the frustration hit: I realized my sacred weekend downtime had vanished. In that moment, I vented to Kelly—thinking and saying things like: You have to go on a business trip during the busiest week of my calendar? My business trips are never this long. How am I supposed to meet all my work obligations and take care of our daughter? And most importantly… I need my weekend! When is that supposed to happen??

Of course, none of this was her fault. And by this point in our marriage, Kelly understood this was just my irrational way of blowing off steam. It didn’t take long for me to recognize the immaturity of my reaction and my lack of composure in the face of adversity (Titus 2:2). I eventually calmed down, refocused, and said all the right surface-level things while quietly trying to figure out how to manage my complicated week.

With no immediate family nearby, Kelly had already lined up a couple of friends to be on standby during her trip (yeah, she’s that good). Knowing I had some reinforcements on the sidelines gave me a bit of peace.

Wednesday morning arrived, and Kelly was out the door by 5 a.m. I was ready to take on the challenge. I got up, saw her off, made breakfast, woke up the kid, packed lunch, and we were out the door on time for school and work. At the end of the day, I picked up the kid, made dinner, and we were home by 5:30 p.m. Day one—conquered like clockwork.

Thursday followed a similar pattern. On my way out of work, a few teammates on my admin staff jokingly threw jabs like, “Being a mom isn’t so easy,” and “Now you see how much Kelly juggles.” I chuckled and acknowledged their points, but honestly? Things were going smoothly. Dare I say… motherhood is overrated?

Thursday ended just like Wednesday—flawless execution (Proverbs 19:21). That evening, my daughter and I even went out to eat and made it home in time to walk the dogs. Not only were we executing the week with near perfection—we were even keeping up with the dogs. What a week indeed! (Daniel 4:4)

But all of this was short-lived. Everything changed drastically in the wee hours of Friday morning—1 a.m., to be exact.

If you’re a parent, you know the sounds I’m talking about. You wake up suddenly, hearing your child bolt out of bed and sprint to the bathroom. And I don’t need to describe the next sound I heard once she got there.

I tried not to panic, but it was clear—my daughter had a stomach virus. From 1 a.m. to 4 a.m., this awful cycle repeated every 30 minutes. To make a long story short, the worst of the storm lasted until 10 a.m. My new routine became: hold her hair back, wait it out, get her back in bed, and clean… clean… clean.

Once things settled a bit, my thoughts immediately turned to work. There was no way I’d be making it in that morning, so I sent an email to my team to let them know I’d be out.

By 11 a.m., peace returned—a true Pax Romana. I was exhausted, but my daughter seemed to be on the mend, which brought a sense of calm. My admin team had been informed, responded with sympathy, and even suggested a few remedies. I had reached out to Kelly as well—more than once—and, being Kelly, she had already arranged for a friend to stop by with reinforcements: Lysol, bleach spray, Saltines, ginger ale, and a bottle of Coke. Now that was a brave friend.

Meanwhile, back at work, things were busy—really busy. Guilt started creeping in. Believe it or not, I actually enjoy what I do and feel a strong sense of obligation. Still, I reminded myself: my daughter’s health came first. I was able to manage the guilt—but what I hadn’t handled well was my communication with Kelly. I wasn’t always positive. Every now and then, old jealousy crept in, and I’d send a passive-aggressive text.

Images of her enjoying her professional conference—at a beach resort, no less—haunted me (1 Samuel 18:8). Meanwhile, I was bleaching bathrooms, washing sheets, and coaxing my daughter to sip ginger ale. And then, I had what alcoholics might call a moment of clarity.

This wasn’t the first stomach virus my daughter had ever had. So… where was I during all the other ones? Oh right—I wasn’t the one doing this. I’m not the mom.

Forgive me, Lord, for I have sinned. Motherhood is definitely not overrated.

This whole ordeal reminded me of just how much Kelly does for our family. I only stepped into her role for a few days, and it left me drained. I made a point to tell Kelly how much I appreciated her—as a wife, as a mother, and as my partner.

During our conversation, she made a powerful observation. At the end of it all, after I’d missed work Friday and Saturday, she said:
“In a weird way, our daughter helped you get your weekend back.”

She was right. I had whined and complained about losing my weekend at the start of all this—and in the end, I got it back. But not without lessons learned.

The Lord, in His wisdom, seemed to be saying, “Sure, you can have your precious weekend… but there will be lessons to learn.” (Proverbs 3:11–12)


Scripture References (ESV):

Titus 2:2Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness.
Proverbs 19:21Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.
Daniel 4:4I, Nebuchadnezzar, was at ease in my house and prospering in my palace.
1 Samuel 18:8And Saul was very angry… “They have ascribed to David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed thousands. What more can he have but the kingdom?”
Proverbs 3:11–12My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of His reproof, for the Lord reproves him whom He loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.