As a teacher, coach, and now an administrator, I have witnessed many students experience disappointment in the face of failure. Of course, it is natural to feel discouraged when we fall short. The typical mindset is: We prepared, studied, collaborated, and practiced—all in vain. But when failure occurs, I find myself asking: Am I holding myself accountable for this temporary setback? Did I truly prepare adequately? Was all that preparation really for nothing?

It’s easy to pass the buck. In our daily routines, we encounter countless obstacles that can stand in the way of reaching our goals. The temptation to blame these obstacles for our shortcomings is strong. However, if we want to move forward productively, we must confront this mindset and acknowledge that we are often the primary factor in our own failures. As human beings, we appreciate being recognized for our successes, but we tend to downplay our role in our failures.

The truth is, success stems from personal initiative—but it is also deeply influenced by the support we receive from others. Personally, I am only successful because I’m surrounded by a gifted faculty and staff. Their excellence ensures that I can do my job effectively, as long as I take responsibility and lead with intention. In our middle school, when a student experiences a temporary lapse in success, I first ask them to reflect on their own actions. Then, I encourage them to identify the people around them who can support their journey back to success.

After we evaluate our role in a failure, the next step is to ask ourselves: What did I actually do to prepare? Honest self-reflection often brings clarity. More often than not, a lack of proper preparation emerges as a major cause of failure.

This brings me to a personal story—one I’m always hesitant to share—but I think it’s relevant. During college, I studied hard for my first chemistry quiz. I walked into the lecture hall feeling confident. A few days later, that confidence evaporated when I saw my score: 37%, if I remember correctly. I could have blamed the distractions of college life—there were plenty—but instead, I chose to self-reflect. I accepted responsibility and realized my preparation had been inadequate. That very day, I went to the library and signed up for free tutoring services. The story has a happy ending: I went on to earn an “A” in the course.

I also came to an important realization: although I “earned” that grade, my success was not mine alone. It was made possible by the help and support of others.

So, was all my initial preparation in vain? Absolutely not. Even though I failed that quiz, the experience became a catalyst for growth. That failure sparked my decision to take responsibility, re-evaluate my efforts, and seek support. Eventually, that process led me to success.

Students need to understand that failure is temporary. When we take the time to examine it closely, we often discover that failure is not the end—it’s the beginning. Within every setback lies the seed of future success.